I am Ericka Champion Wise, I am a teacher, coach, trainer, and inspiration to others.
I live a life on the public stage, one full of a purpose to empower and inspire other women to learn, grow, and live their best life. Living in the public eye also opens the doors for hatred. But much to the chagrin of those who spread and spout hate in my direction I do not shy away from their nonsense, I do not hide, and I do not sit quietly.
Instead I share everything, regardless of who likes it and who does not. Remember, I have a purpose, to inspire and empower others, to let them know that they are not alone in their struggles, that they are not the only one fighting this fight.
In modern culture we deal with a solitude on a level that has never been experienced before. We sit at home behind our devices sharing our “highlight reel” of best moments and compare our worst moments to another person’s best, feeling like our life sucks, we’re the only one dealing with the crap that we face, worried that no one else understands who we really are or cares enough to get past the social media facade to see the pain we hide so well.
It’s a frightening place to live and a scary time to live some days. Suicide rates are at an all time high, intentional deaths and harm of others of all kinds are on the news every single night, and private home lives are a flat out wreck.
Frankly I’m tired of it.
I’m tired of the fake, tired of the comparison, tired of sharing only the best of times and hiding the worst, tired of the perceived loneliness, tired of simply not telling the truth that life is tough, sometimes people suck, and often we all need a hand to get through the worst of times.
Given my purpose and the fact that I hate how social media sets us up for failure is there any wonder why I share EVERYTHING publicly? If you have to ask you are still stuck in the cycle of needing public approval.
Let me tell you a short (long) story.
Yesterday I share a photo update of my new skin care regimen (remember, public life, I share my opinions on products regularly).
Someone took it upon herself to message me out of the blue and call into question some sensitive areas of my life and both insulted and hurt my feelings, then proceeded to offer a half apology for “offending me”.
Being a top leader in network marketing I HATE when anyone does this sort of thing, they give the entire industry a bad rap, one that I have to work even harder to beat, and I usually let this sort of thing go but not yesterday, that one hit hard and hurt deep. So, I shared it in an effort to teach others that this sort of thing is not okay, that it hurts people, that it should not happen.
I got a great deal of feedback on Facebook after posting this, and all but two people were in complete agreement and had this exact scenario happen to them OR WORSE. The solidarity in my community was helpful and sharing of stories among women who can say “I’ve been there, I know how you feel.” helps other women understand they are not alone, they are not fighting a new battle, and this battle has been won before.
Well, wouldn’t you know, this person could not leave well enough alone, she had to go ahead and send me a mean email stooping to the level of calling me names.
I share it here once again to let you know that meanness keeps coming, that sometimes even though you’ve done the right thing according to your purpose that some people just cannot handle your greatness, want to dull your shine, and see you hurt.
"Ericka, It’s so sad that to see that you had to post our conversation making me look like a “bad person” to victimize yourself.You got this TOTALLY WRONG and it only shows what a sad person you are and how empty your life is that you have to publicly ashamed someone. I don’t get your double moral,on one hand you post stuff about a problem you have but when one reaches out to you to tell you about something that has worked for a lot of people with similar problems then you get “offended” and make a big deal.Again I din’t mean to offend you.Seems like you need an apology so here you go,I’m truly sorry (that’s the kind of human being I am,I accept my mistakes and I learn from them) once again I didn’t mean to be rude or hurt your feelings just like 2 people mentioned in the comments. I’m glad shaming me has given you the attention you need though.I would hope you also share this part of the conversation and take your drama back. And I’m glad you blocked me because I was going to delete you anyway,fake and toxic people like you are better to take them out of your life."
(ps- I could point out so many things wrong with this email… so many inaccuracies but I’ll save that for another post for another day)
And this person could not leave well enough alone, she decided to get her friends to pile on and spread even more hatred. That happens. When people try to get under your skin and can’t make it, they call out the cavalry and get their friends to be just as mean to you. They call into question the essence of who you are, and they stoop so low as to use name calling.
Let’s get to the bottom of this seemingly never ending story.
Final lesson: people are jerks. We all fight similar fights, struggle with the same things, we do not have to hide behind our perfect screen lives, we do not have to pretend all is well.
And do not let ANYONE tell you otherwise, no matter who they are or how many of their friends come at you with hate and name calling. Instead, use this to further your purpose, to strengthen your resolve, and to help other people along the way.
This is what I have done, and what I will continue to do.
I will not hide from my purpose, I will not stop in my mission to inspire and empower others, and I will not be silenced by any naysayer.
If I can do this, you can do this. Turn your hate into fuel, let it be a stepping stone to your next level. You deserve success, go out there and get it!
Hear me, loud and clear. I will not be silenced, my message will not be silenced, my work to help others through this tough life we live will not be stopped and no amount of hate mail will get in the way of what I am supposed to do.
Commit yourself to the same, that no matter what happens you will continue working and you will have victory!