This morning during my devotional I was angry, frustrated, and just plain mad at God. We’ve all been there, if you haven’t just hold on, you will be, we’re human and it happens.
I am mad that it has been 9.5 months since my last promotion in Paparazzi. I was made that he gave me a vision at Convention 2015 and he STILL hasn’t delivered on that vision. I was mad that I have lost more teammates this year than I have recruited. I was mad that my rockstars who seemed to love this business more than I do have stopped working. I was mad that no matter WHAT I do my team numbers never-ever rise. I was mad that no matter what I do I have made zero progress toward my big goal of Fashionista. I was mad that my life is constantly three steps forward, 13 steps back… Always.
You know, just mad.
So he and I went around, I threw a temper tantrum using up four pages, back and front, in my devotion notebook, and we’re talking the regular 8.5×11 college ruled notebook. Just fussing. Asking him why over and over again, why is he delaying my dreams, why is he not doing what he promised he would do for my in my business…
Because let me level with you, I AM frustrated. I AM angry. I AM just plain mad that it’s been nearly 10 months and I am not anywhere close to where I want to be in Paparazzi. And nothing I’m doing is getting me there.
My text today was Phillipians 4:8, it discusses positive thinking, Paul tells us to think only on the good, lovely, wholesome things… who knew that positive thinking training was in the Bible? I didn’t.
So I pitched my fit, got all of the junk I’ve been holding onto for months out of my system. Just laid it all out on the table with God. By now I am both starting to feel better, and to feel stupid bc here I am pitching a big fit with God…. I mean, who does that? Me, apparently.
I asked him to help me change my thinking. And I heard clearly, “You like to write, so write down your blessings.” Ok God, I will do that. So I wrote. Big and small, and in between, I have an entire page of blessings.
Then I heard “Write down my promises to you.” Ok God, I will do that too. Next page, I wrote every promise he has given me, every promise he has said he will do for me, big, small, and in between. I have an entire page of promises.
At this point I’m teary, ok, I’m outright crying… and a little ashamed of myself for forgetting all of these blessings and only focusing on the things I don’t have. God forgive me for doing that…. But I think we all do that. If we don’t we aren’t human.
Then, not even an hour after pitching my fit, I get a phone call, and up pops Hurricane, Utah on the caller ID! My heart jumped up and down because every time Paparazzi calls it’s for good news! Riker, the sweet guy who called, let me know I have earned 25% of my Dominican Republic trip! Y’all, last year I only earned 50% of the trip throughout the entire contest time! This year I’m already a 25% in AUGUST! That’s huge.
So, what’s the moral of this never-ending story? (I know, I’ll stop soon, but you need to hear this)
Change your thinking and you will change your life.
You’ve heard it 4million times, let me tell you 4million-and-one.
Change your thinking. Even the Bible tells us to do so. If you won’t listen to me then listen to God’s word.
How do you change your thinking? First and foremost, pray and ask God to change it for you, to help you change it because he’s got you and he will help you.
After that write down your blessings, boy are those eye openers, and go beyond the home, food, clothing, etc, go deeper than that.
Then fill yourself with positive things- listen to positive speakers, YouTube is full of them, read positive books, watch positive TV shows (this is why I watch cartoons, always positive messages), speak with positive people.
And finally, SPEAK positive. This will be the hardest task of all, promise. Stop complaining, no one wants to hear it anyway, but stop complaining. If all you have is a complaint, shhh, keep it to yourself. Start talking about those blessings you wrote down.
I know this is long and you’re wondering “Ericka, what in the heck are you doing here sharing all this with us?”
Well, my prayer has been Use me God, Use me for a very long time and one way I know he will do that is by taking my 9.5 month (and counting) test of faith and turning it into one BIG testimony, so I am compelled to share it.
If you’ve been at this for a while, if you’ve been expecting a miracle for a long time and it feels like God is taking his sweet time in delivering it… we’re in the same boat…. I feel your pain.
And I can speak with absolute authority when I tell you HANG ON. KEEP WORKING. KEEP BELIEVING.
It will not be easy, nope, not gonna happen, but keep working. Keep your faith, deepen your faith, and change your thinking.
He always delivers on this promises. Even if he takes a long while (ok, for.ev.er) he still delivers.
In the mean time, we’ll wait, and work, and watch for our miracles together <3
ps- for all you “religious” folks out there who are thinking of coming down on me for being angry with God, save it. I don’t wanna hear it. It is ok to be angry with God. Don’t believe me? Open up your Bible and do some studying, you’ll find it.